


Our Begining

by thathardcoreshipper



Category: Hearbeats (2010)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Marie - Freeform, Nicholas - Freeform, Secret love, Songfic, bisexual love, canadian movie, francis - Freeform, hearbeats fanfic, little mix - Freeform, monia chokri, xavier dolan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 16:04:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6290932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thathardcoreshipper/pseuds/thathardcoreshipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Let's just keep it between us" he said looking into her eyes. Her cigarette smoke fill the air. Sweat and smoke. </p><p>She look a him for a while, trying to decide her answer. He is her best-friend. They fought over a boy once, but they made it out. He is gay, or was gay. They share a room in her apartment, they sleep together. But it never cross her mind that one day he kissed her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, :]  
> this is story is inspired by Heartbeats (2010) movie and Little Mix song's Secret Love Song (part 1 and 2).  
> please give some critics or comment or kudos (if you like it).  
> And since English is not my first language so, forgive me if my grammer and words are kind of weird and messy.  
> Thanks and enjoy! :]

"Let's just keep it between us" he said looking into her eyes. Her cigarette smoke fill the air. Sweat and smoke. 

She look a him for a while, trying to decide her answer. He is her best-friend. They fought over a boy once, but they made it out. He is gay, or was gay. They share a room in her apartment, they sleep together. But it never cross her mind that one day he kissed her.

"Taste like cherry chopstick" he said. And lick her bottom lip. She pulled back, surprised.

"What are you doing?"

"Kissing you" and he kissed her again. Chaste kiss. His lips feels strange. She kissed boy before but his lips, taste new. Like she crave for more of it.

"Francis.." She pulled back one more time. His eyes looking deep into hers. Dark with lust. 

"Marie, i dont know what the fuck is happening to me, but i cant stop.." He said with a hoarse voice. "I want to touch you.. More and more.." He close their distance until their lips almost touch. "Can i?" 

Her breath is caught in her throat. Her heart beats faster. 'Fuck it' she thinks to her self.

"Yes.." She said it and crushing their lips together. She put her hands on his hair. He pull her closer to him, his hands on her back and waist. 'Gosh he such a good kisser' she thought. At first the kissed was slow and gentle but then it grows hunger and dominating one another.

She push him, so he lay in his back. 

"You sure about this?" She said between breath. 

"Yess" he kiss her shoulder, and biting her neck playfully. 

And thats when she decided to do it with him, fulfilling his request. They try to dominating each other, loving each other obsessed-ly. It was their first time doing it. After that, he seems cant get close enough to her without desire to touch her. They're doing it everywhere, the bathroom, the bedroom, the couch, the living room rug, and the kitchen. 

Until one night he said it.

'Let's just keep it between us'. 

She looks at him and put out her cigarette. Sleeping next to him and face him. She traces his face with her finger. "Okay" and she kisses his forehead. "Dont worry, i wont tell anyone" she smile to assure him.

" _Merci,_ Marie" he kiss her hand. And they sleep like that, holding hands.


	2. You know...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minutes later, she spot someone familiar entered the store. Its Nicholas. It's been awhile since the last time she saw him in her and francis friend's party. And now he's with his new girlfriend. Cause this one is Chinese with a model looks and younger.  
> She tried to ignore him when their eyes meet. She just look away.  
> "Hi" he says. Once he got separated from his girlfriend. Nicholas is always as charming as he was, and it makes her kinda forget that he was an asshole.  
> "Hi" She said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! :]  
> This is story is inspired by Heartbeats (2010) movie  
> I kinda addicted writing this one, so i can't stop writing and gonna post another chapter real soon.  
> Inspired by Little Mix - Secret Love Song (part 1 and 2), 2NE1- It's Hurt, and Sam Smith - Stay With Me  
> ^ please give some critics or comment or kudos (if you like it).  
> ^ And since English is not my first language so, forgive me if my grammer and words are kind of weird and messy.  
> ^ sorry if my French is all over the place and bad.
> 
> Thanks and enjoy! :]

"Marie!" Francis wave his hand to her, signal her to come over. Marie who just come to the cafe walk straight to him.

"Good spot" she said as she sit down and kissed him on the cheek.

"Yeah, i read it on magazine. The veggie burger is very recommended here." He saids while flipping the menu.

"I'll try that then." She said and pulled out one cigarette. Place it between her lips, not lighting it up yet. " _Excusez-moi, je peux avoir un cendrier, s'il vous plaît?_ " She asked a waiter that passed their table.

" _Je suis désolé, vous ne pouvez pas fumer ici._ " The waiter decline politely.

" _Ah, d'accord_ " she nod and put her cigarette back to her pocket. Once the waiter gone, Francis looks at her and rolled his eyes. 

"Guess, the magz should've wrote it down" he said, and his feet touching her. Comforting. In a weird way.

She snorted a laugh. "They should"

 

**Later that evening, they spend days lurking around the city, and ended up in her favorite vinyl store.**

"What are you looking for here?" Francis asked looks bored.

"Nothing, just, wasting time" she answered without looking at him. Focus on vinyls on her hands.

"Ugh.." He sighing. "Im gonna smoke outside, kay?" He give her shoulder a light pat and walkout the store.

Minutes later, she spot someone familiar entered the store. Its Nicholas. It's been awhile since the last time she saw him in her and francis friend's party. And now he's with his new girlfriend. Cause this one is Chinese with a model looks and younger.

She tried to ignore him when their eyes meet. She just look away.

"Hi" he says. Once he got separated from his girlfriend. Nicholas is always as charming as he was, and it makes her kinda forget that he was an asshole.

"Hi" she give him a cold shoulder. Not interested. 

He looks at her through his long lashes. "Everything went well?" He lean on the table.

"Never been better"

"Okay" he then straight up his pose and standing next to her. "How's Francis?" 

"He's great"

"Okay" 

Everything is changed. They used to be so close, she used to like him. Now, the feeling gone.

"You look better with your hair longer" he whisper on her ear, so close that make her turn her eyes to look at him. And he just smile. That wicked smile.

"See you later" and he out of the store with his girlfriend.

'Asshole' she muttered and tuck a hair behind her ear.

"Getting the old flames feeling?"

She jump when she heard Francis is standing behind her.

" _Oh mon Dieu!_ Francis!"

He just shrugged, and stand beside her. Eyes focus on the vinyl collection in front of him. Flipping it around.

"He asked you." She bump her shoulder on him playfully.

"Well, he's handsome for sure. I'm flattered. But we both know that he's an asshole, so..." He rolled his eyes. 

She snorted a laugh. "Cant believe we fought over him"

"Hmm.. Let's get out from here Marie" he gave her a puppy eyes that she cant deny.

"Ugh, that eyes.... Okaaaaaay" 

 

**And they're going back to Francis apartment instead of Marie's.**

 

"What he told you?" Francis asked once they arrived in front of his apartment.

"Who?" Answered Marie confused. Cause they just talk about their friend, and Francis Mom. So all the topics is kinda messed up.

"Nicholas" Francis open the door and let Marie in first.

"Ah, Nicholas. About you?" She walked to his living room and drop herself to his couch. "Just asking how are you" 

"Oh" he join her in the couch, and put down some beers for them. She looks at him, she notice that he  frowning.

"What?" She nudged his arm.

He look at her. "Nothing"

" _Oh viens.._ " She keeps nudging his arm. "Oooooh.." She then widing her eyes and look at him like she know something.

" _Quelle?_ " Now its his turn to curious.

"Hmph~" she give him a sneaky grin. "You jealous!"

He only give her a disbelief look. 

" _Oh viens_ , you jealous of me. You still like Nicholas?" 

He only rolled his eyes on disbelief.

" _Quel idiot_ " he muttered and sipping his beer.

" _Aww, petite menteur_ " she also sipping her beer.

" _Peu importe ce que tu dis_ " he then turn on the tv. And they absorb on the murder documentary.

**Several hours later**

"I have to go" Marie says and get up from the couch. 

"It's late." Francis says

"Yeap, thats why, i have to go." Marie went to the kitchen to put all the bottles in the trash.

"You know, you can stay.." Francis followed her to the kitchen.

She looks at him. Pausing. She knows its not the first time they staying together. Or share a place, but with his affection and the changing phase in their relationship, she needs to move out from thier apartment. Sometimes, she often saw him drawning in his own thoughts, like regretting it (or at least that what she thinks). Maybe after what they did its all wrong. Maybe he feel guilty over her.

And she try to make everything okay, between her and francis. After the passionate sex and amazing friendship. She knows that he confused about his sexuality, she knows he got a lot in his plate to figure it out. Thats why, she doesnt want to drown in her feelings for him. Yes, she love him more than a friend. And she scared of losing him, she scared if her feeling pushing him away, she wants him to be happy.

"Nah, i better go home. I got a meeting plan, early tomorrow" she then kissed him in the cheek.

"You sure?" He hold her arm. "You can go from here. Stay?"

She looks at his baby blue eyes. _'Not fair, how can i say no'_ she thoughts to herself.

"Okay" she sighing. Regretting her decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Excusez-moi, je peux avoir un cendrier, s'il vous plaît? = Excuse me, can I have an ashtray, please?  
> * Je suis désolé, vous ne pouvez pas fumer ici = I'm sorry, but you can't smoke in here  
> * Ah, d'accord = Ah, Okay  
> * Oh mon Dieu! = Oh My God!  
> * Oh viens.. = Oh come on..  
> * Quelle? = What?  
> * Quel idiot = What an idiot  
> * Aww, petite menteur = Aww, you little liar  
> * Peu importe ce que tu dis = Whatever you say


	3. Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Francis wake up with a cold space beside him. He squinted his eyes, trying to see everything clearly while searching for Marie.  
> "Marie?" He called her, but he got no answer. He then drag himself out of the bed.  
> Grabbing his cellphone and there's one message from Marie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since English is not my first languange, so please tolerate my bad grammer and I would love if you guys criticize and give me your opinion. Thanks <3

"You know.." Francis said when they laying in his bed. With Marie back to him.

"Hmm?... What?" She answered with her eyes still closed.

"I wish I could be normal someday. Straight." He move so he facing her back. 

Marie open her eyes. But she's stay still.

"Are you sleep?" Francis snuggle close to her.

"You're normal Francis. You're incredibly normal. You're gay. But normal." Marie says and closing her eyes again. Feeling the warm of Francis in her back.

Francis hug her from behind and place a kiss in her neck. " _Merci_ , Marie." He whisper in her ear. 

" _Bonne nuit_ , Francis" Marie try yo push aside her feeling of holding him in her arm and cuddle with him.

" _Bonne nuit_ , Marie" and Francis settle him self down behind her, his forhead touching her back and his hand stays on her waist.

Marie sighing at the warm feeling of his hand. _'Just sleep Marie, sleep'_

 

**_THE NEXT MORNING_ **

 

Francis wake up with a cold space beside him. He squinted his eyes, trying to see everything clearly while searching for Marie.

"Marie?" He called her, but he got no answer. He then drag himself out of the bed.

Grabbing his cellphone and there's one message from Marie.

_Francis, thanks for letting me stay. I'm going to the early plan meeting. I dont want to wake you up cause you seems so peaceful. And by the way, i made scrambled egg, its in the microwave. - X, Marie_

He then walk to the kitchen and open the microwave. Scrambled egg, with bacon. And he put it back inside and warm it up.

_Thanks, good luck for the meeting. - XX, Francis_

Once the food is done he sit in the kitchen island, and looking at his phone. A smile creep on his face. And he texted Marie once more.

_Wanna grab a dinner tonight?_

And he send it to her.

 

**_SOMETIME LATER, THAT EVENING_ **

 

Marie looking at her phone. She sliding down the notification bars. She've been doing that since the message from Francis come. She looks at it but not opening it yet. She just doesn't know how to answer him. She desperately want to accept it, but once she met him again, she would love him more than she should. And that is wrong, what they did meant to be just sex and fullfil their needs. Not love. No, there's no room for love in their friendship.

_I cant tonight. Sorry. But, i'll see you soon._

And she send it to him. _'It's for the best'._

It's late at night, and she've done her over work hours. She cracking her neck, and pack her stuff ready to go home. The office was quite, most of the people has gone home. Not much left, there are only 5 of them. Absorb by their own works.

She's heading to the exit door thinking about going home and taking a hot shower then sleeping. But her stomach is growling. She's hungry.

It's 2am in the morning. And she's alone in the Dine and Wine. There's barely anyone in this hours. She sit by the window. Looking outside while chewing her fish and chips.

Then there's a couple, a drunk one and a gay one. They're walking outside the dining, across the street.

There's one guy that captures her attention. He looks familiar. _'Francis'_

Her heart is like strike by the lightning. She looks at him and his partner. He kissed him so passionately, like a hungry animal. And they're giggling. The other guy put his arm around Francis shoulder. Wrapping Francis so close to him.

She feels something inside her broken. Her tears sliding down her cheeks without she realized it. She wiped it harshly and lighting up her cigarette. She keep looking at them until they're vanished on the corner of the road.

She knows that she and Francis is just a friend with benefits. They're lonely, they're hurt, they need each other for companies. He will never love her.

"Ugh....ugh..." She sobbed and lost in her own thoughts. _'Fuck! What the fuck Marie?'_ She said to her self and wiping away her tears harshly. She gather her things and went home.

 

That night, she cried her self to sleep.

 

**_NEXT MORNING._ **

 

'Beeep... Beeeeep'

Francis groan and reached for the alarm and turn it on. He look at the bed beside him, there lay a beautiful boy. And he smile.

_'What a good morning'._


	4. Raging Fire.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Care to explain that to me?!?" Francis slam the door behind him. And following Marie to her kitchen.
> 
> "Explain what?!?!" Marie said and taking a step closer to Francis. She feels like crying but she won't lose the fight.

It's been weeks since Francis saw Marie. He's been texting her and she's been kind of avoiding him. She always has a reasons to says no.

Now, it's got him furious.  
So he decided to go to her apartment. Waiting there till she come home.

He's been there since 7pm, he decided to come early cause he knows she'll be back after 8pm. He'll wait. 2hours passed, he's pacing around outside her apartment door. Smoke in his hands.

Right at 10.30pm, he heard her voice giggling. And they met each others eyes.

She's with a guy, blonde with hazel eyes.

He look at her and she just stand in her place.

"What's wrong?" The blonde guy kissing her neck. Which bring her to reality.

"....nothing.." She said and give him a smile. She trying to ignored Francis stare as she walked pass by him.

"Ha ha.." Francis give her a sarcastic laugh. "So, this is what keep you busy?" He stand behind them. Still staring at Marie. Hands in his pocket. Anger build up in his voice.

The blonde guy turn his back and face Francis.  
"Excuse me, who are you?" Says the blonde.

Now is Marie turn to face Francis. "What the hell?" She said. Trying to press the anger inside and stay collected. Though, she don't understand what he wants and why he act like that. And why the hell he's here.

"You know, you could just say it. I mean, your excuses are pretty lame." Francis said and take one step closer to Marie. He put his cigarette in his mouth. Unlit.

"Back off dude." The blonde guy stand stiff between Marie and Francis. "Marie? You know him?" He looks at Marie confused.

"Ugh, sorry Alan, maybe we could talk tomorrow? Im so sorry, but can you leave for now?" Marie look at the blonde guy with a guilt in her eyes.

At first the blonde guy seems hesitant to leave.

The blonde guy sighed, "okay" he kissed Marie check "I'll see you tomorrow okay?" And he leave Marie after she nodded at what he said. The he look at Francis with a warn in his eyes, Francis just glare back.

"What the fuck Francis?!?!" Marie snapped once the blonde guy gone.

"What the fuck you said?!? Really?!? The hell are you doing?!?!!" Francis shout back.

Marie shoot an angry glare at him and she groaned. Opening her apartment and storming inside.

"Care to explain that to me?!?" Francis slam the door behind him. And following Marie to her kitchen.

"Explain what?!?!" Marie said and taking a step closer to Francis. She feels like crying but she **won't lose the fight**. 

"That?!? The golden retriever guy?!? Your fucking excuses?!?" Francis raised his voice.

"What excuses?!? And that Guy is Alan, and why would you dragging him to our argument?! Gosh Francis!" Marie look at Francis eyes, and she sighed. Turn over heading to her bedroom she said, "go home, Francis.. "

Instead of going home he followed Marie. He grab her arms. Make Marie stop her step.

Francis looks at her dark brown hair, she pull it up. Makes her neck visible. 'He kissed her neck' Francis remember what Alan did. Without he realized it, he squeeze Marie arm a little bit.  
"Go home, Francis" Marie says, coldly. Or trying to be cold to him.  
He didnt answer her.  
He didnt go away.  
He step closer to Marie.   
"Marie.." The way he say her name makes her shiver.  
He turn her slowly to him. But she looks away, resisting to meet his baby blue eyes.  
He knows she still mad at him, no matter what he says now she wont listen. She needs her time to calm down.  
He release his hold. And take one step back. ".. Sorry" he said almost like a whisper.   
She let out a deep breath.  
"I'm tired, im gonna take a shower" she said and walk to her bedroom. There's a small bath room that Marie always use there, she decorate it so it's more comfier than the bigger one which placed outside her bedroom.  
Francis knows, staying while she's mad is bad decision. But he dont wanna go.   
He sat there in the couch. Turning on the tv.


	5. Tangled Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Stop it Marie. Dont drowning more than this' she exhale quitely and get up from the couch. Heading to her bedroom but a hand grab her wrist.  
> "Stay" francis stay with firm tone, not opening his eyes.  
> Marie gritting her teeth together. 'Shit' she curse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, it's been a long time.   
> This draft actually been sitting in my computer for a long time.  
> And, i didn't think I would post it or even resume the story.  
> But, the notification of kudos come in my e-mail.  
> So, I re-read the story and damn, Marie and Francis deserve more than this.  
> Then, I decided to post it more. And it will me more Chapthers coming!
> 
> Thanks for the Kudos and hope you guys enjoy it!

Marie done with her shower 15 minutes later. She still mad with francis. She hears her tv is on. 

"So stubborn" she mutter to herself.

She knows francis still here stubbornly, resist to go home.

She missed him, but she cant deal with him now, everything is too complicated now. Her feeling for him, though she knows it's wrong but it's getting stronger. She put her loose t-shirt and pants. And crawling to her bed. Curling in her blanket. Trying to sleep. But the tv sounds bother her.

 

**2hour later**

Marie step out from her room. Peeking to the couch in the living room. Francis is in his deep slumber. She sit beside him. Looking at him. _'He grow some beard and mustaches'_ she thinks to herself. She wants to hugs him tights. Touch his hair, and his scrappy beard. But she doesnt.

She took a spare blanket from her room, covering francis with it.

She stay for a while looking at him. Just looking at him.

 

 _'Stop it Marie. Dont drowning more than this'_ she exhale quitely and get up from the couch. Heading to her bedroom but a hand grab her wrist.

"Stay" francis stay with firm tone, not opening his eyes.

Marie gritting her teeth together. _'Shit'_ she curse.

His grip goes tighter.

 

She give up, he's just too stubborn.  

She sit beside him. Looking away from him. Looking at the tv, watching the show that she doesn't even know what it is about. And she feels his hand that gripping her, move to hold her hands. Lacing their finger together. Francis pulling Marie to him.

She didnt resist. She's too tired to fight, too exhausted emotionally. And she missed being with him. So, she let herself fall to his chest. 

His cologne is strong and soothing at the same time. She missed him. She squeeze his hands unintentionally. He squeeze back, dropping his head to her head. He missed her. So much. Too much. And they stay in silent until Francis spoke.

"I'm will not apologize" 

Marie snap her eyes open. _'What?!'_ she thinks, not said it outloud.

"I will not apologize for being rude to that golden retriever. Never."

She only listen to him. Letting him finish his point.

"I missed you, i want to see you, but you being lovey-dovey with him. It irritated me. And somehow, I cant accept that."

She thinks and said "I didnt know that you're quite possessive over your friend"

He open his eyes. Looking at the distance.


	6. Un Gâchis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Engilsh and French were not my first languange so, spare me for any mistake in grammar.  
> enjoy!

**It’s 01.15 AM.**

Marie still snuggling to Francis. He draws a circle on her skin. Caressing her.

"You know..." Marrie started the conversation. “I saw you the other day..” She dont want to bring it up, but it bother her to know more of what happened between Francis and The Boy. “..with a beautiful boy around 2AM make out in the public” She then sitting up to look at him in the eyes.

“ _Alors, tu as un petit ami?_ ” She added a smirk.

Francis look deep at Marie hazel eyes. And turn his eyes back to the tv before answering, “ _Nan_ ”

“ _Pourquoi? il est mignon?”_ Marie says and still looking at Francis.

“I dont know, _ces derniers temps, tout est tellement compliqué”_ Francis says and looking back at her. Right in her eyes.

Marie looking back at him, and looking at his lips. The urge to kiss him is undeniable. Francis notice it and closing their distance. Kissing her in her cheek. Trying so hard not to kiss her lips. She somehow feeling dissapointed and relief at the same time.

Clearing her throat, she push Francis a little to make a distance between her. “I should go to bed, and you should to”

She put her hand on his stubble beard. Caressing him. He leaning on her hand. And kissing her palm. She exhale at his action. He hold her hand on his jaw and look at her more firmly this time. Trying to control his urge and wanting to sort things out before kissing her and feel her again.

She look back at him, the confusion reach his eyes, the lust is there too. But she knows him too well to let the urge takes over tonight. If she encourage him more, he may lose it and they will hold each other tonight but, she knows he will feel bad and guilty to following his lust.

“goodnight, Francis” Marie says and pulling back her hand. She standing up and walk towards her bedroom.

Francis watch Marie go. He decided not to chase her, to hold her against the wall, to biting the sensitive spot on her neck. He decided not to following his lust. He stand up, and gather his jacket and get ready to go home.

He walked to the door. And closing it behind him. He stopped there. Looking at his two feet. Sighing.

 _‘what a mess’_ he thinks to himself, and put a ciggarette on. Walk home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alors, tu as un petit ami? = So, you got a boyfriend?  
> Nan = nope  
> Pourquoi? il est mignon? = Why? He's cute?  
> ces derniers temps, tout est tellement compliqué = lately, everything is so complicated


	7. Smoke It Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light up, Smoke up, Shut the fuck up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, before that I would to let you know I made some update on Chapter 2. About who moved out from their Appartement.  
> here, I attached some.  
> "She looks at him. Pausing. She knows its not the first time they staying together. Or share a place, but with his affection and the changing phase in their relationship, she needs to move out from thier apartment. Sometimes, she often saw him drawning in his own thoughts, like regretting it (or at least that what she thinks). Maybe after what they did its all wrong. Maybe he feel guilty over her."

Marie was outside her building. She’s on her break at work. She smoking a cigarrete and lots of thoughts crossed her mind. _‘what should I do?’_ she exhale, her mind was full of Francis. Looking up. She saw a blue sky turning to grey. _‘it’s gonna rain’_. But it doesnt bother her to finished her smoke quickly.

She drag another stick of ciggarete from her jacket. She light it. She took her phone out. Checking the inbox. **No messages**. It’s been 5 days since she saw Francis. It’s been 5 days since Fraancis and her hacing that talk in her appartement. It’s been 5 days, and no words from him.

“shit..” she curse herself, for sending him one concern message.

**Hi.. U okay?**

She groaned and put out her ciggarete, going back to work.

 **Days passes, weeks passes**. Marie getting worried. And without she realize here she is, standing outside their appartement (it used to theirs, but since Marie moved out, it’s now Francis’). She took out her keys (yup, she still kept the key), and thinking about gettting in without knocking. But she put the key in her pocket, and knocking instead.

“Francis...” she knocks. No answered. She looks at her watch, _‘he should be home, now its 9pm and Wednesday’_ she knocks again. “Franciiiis....” still no answer. She grew impatient and more worry. She take out her phone dialed Francis number.

**Calling Francis....**

**The Number You are calling-**

She ended it. _‘he didnt answer it_ ’ she take out her keys back, _‘screw it’_. And she go in.

“Francis.. it’s me..” She said once she’s inside, without hanging her jacket and take off her shoes, she checking his bedroom. “Franciss..” she called again. Still no answer, it seems, Francis was gone. She take a look at his bathroom, its dry and seems like he’s been gone for quite long time.

“where are you” she mumbled to herself. She went to the kitchen, opened the refrigator and find a milk, she smell it. “ugh..” she scrunching her nose. “what the--- its bad” she throw away the milk to the trash can, which seems pretty empty. _‘it was odd, he would always eat a cereal in the morning yet, the milk is bad, seems like he’s been gone for weeks’_ she thoughts to her self.

She wondering around his living roon to find herself a piece of paper and pen.

**Hey, where are you?**

**You milk went bad,**

**Called me as soon as you see this.**

  * **XO Marie**



She put the note in his refrigator and clip it with the magnet, then she went out of his appartement.

**4 months later.**

She still didnt get anynews from Francis, seems like he just fanished. She visited his appartement twice, to replace a new milk cart in his refrigator. Her note still there, and Francis still not coming back.

“hei..” a voice call out behind her.

“Alan?..” she hugs him. She was in a bar, drinking away her worriness and all she wants is getting drunk and forget Francis for a while.

After that the night went blurry, she remember Alan, they’re kissing, her appartement, her shoes in her living room, Alan’s jacket in the hall, and Alan’s scent.

She woke up with a headache. “shit..” she curse and trying to get up the bed and take a water, and she realise, Alan was sleeping soundly beside her. Naked, so was she.

“Shit..” she curse one more, regreting the decision. She know, she and Francis was nothing than a friends with beneffit, but somehow she feels like she cheated.

Francis face, flashing back in her mind. His angry face the night where he found her with Alan. His words, ring back in her ears. “shit...” she curse one more and get up, took her panties and tanktop on the floor, walk out to the kitchen to find a water.

_"I missed you, i want to see you, but you being lovey-dovey with him. I cant accept that. Never"_

She remember how he said that with an expression in his eyes that she thought he loved her, the way she love him. She sighing. She missed him, she mad at him, she worried about him, and if she had to be honest with herself, she gave up on him.

She drank her water and get back to the bed, lighting up a ciggarete. Alan still sleep like a dead man, she look at him, and it remminded her of Francis.

“Fuck..” She said. “get the hell out of my mind..” she smoke her ciggarete more, trying to get rid Francis off her mind.


	8. Hopeless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “She’s gonna killed me..” he mumbled to himslef, with a small smile creep in his face. He look at his phone, 47 messages from Marie.

Its been 6 months since Francis left Torontto. He went to her grandmother memorial ceremony. All of his family was there. He resigned from his work. And thinking about getting back home for good. His mother and father must be so lonely now, since his sister was study aboard and his grandma passed away.

“hey..” his mom, coming to his room.

“hi, mom.. you need anything..” he put out his ciggarete and coming to his mom. They sit i his bed.

“no.. i was just going to talk” she said witha concern in her eyes.

“whats wrong?” he asked worry “everything okay?” he put his hand on hers. His eyes piercing her.

“yes, everything is great.” Her mom says.

“so? What are you gonna talk about?” he says now sitting straight.

“are you.. okay?” she asked. Now is her that looking at him with concern and piercing gaze.

“me?” he look at her “im okay?” he try to understand her reasons asking him that question.

“are you sure?”she put her warm hand in his cheek.

“yes...” he look down at his hand. She smile at that.

“you know, when you had something in mind, you cant hide it well..” she said and stroking his hair. “what wrong, Francis?”

He sighing, and look at her in eyes “nothing mom, nothing..” he stood up, went to the window.

“you know, your dad and I still capable to running the stores right?” her mom says.

“I know..” he look outside the window, looking at starry sky.

“we’re fine here, Francis..” his mom says, “stop worrying about us, and live your life.. go back, finished what you left behind..” his mom stand and walk towards the door.

Francis just stand there, still looking at starry sky.

“good night Francis..” his mom said.

“night mom..”

 

**It was a week later, that Francis decided to go back to Torontto.**

He was in Winnipeg James Armstrong Airport, turning on his phone, which been off for couples of months. He dicided to switch it off, because he cant stand igoring Marie again, she’s been calling and texting him, a lot. It made him want to go back. But here he is, sitting in a check-in area waiting for his plane, to go back to Torontto.

“She’s gonna killed me..” he mumbled to himslef, with a small smile creep in his face. He look at his phone, 47 messages from Marie.

  1. **Hi.. U okay?**
  2. **Are you okay?**
  3. **Francis, Are you okay?**
  4. **Hi..**
  5. **What are you doing? Busy?**
  6. **Are you mad at me? Call me, okay?**
  7. **WHERE ARE YOU?**
  8. **I went to your appartement, WHERE ARE YOU?**
  9. **Francis, Tell me, are you okay?**
  10. **If this a prank, it’s not funny.**
  11. **For fuck sake, ANSWER MY PHONE.**
  12. **Goddamn it!**
  13. **At least reply to me!!!!!**
  14. **Just let me know you’re okay.**
  15. **You owe me a cart of milk, your milk went bad.**
  16. **Back yet?**
  17. **Where are you, seriousy....?**
  18. **YOU’RE STILL NOT ANSWERING MY CALL, HUH?**
  19. **Is this funny to you?**
  20. **Francis,.. let me know you are okay..**
  21. **Please.**
  22. **Did I do something wrong?**
  23. **Just tell me, where you are?**
  24. **DAMN FRANCIS!!!**
  25. **You know what, i dont care. GO TO HELL.**
  26. **ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, HUH?**
  27. **LOL, RIGHT THIS IS FUNNY.**
  28. **FUCK ITS NOOOOT!**
  29. **Why you wont replying or answering my call?**
  30. **I’m sorry, please stop this.. just let me know you are okay..**
  31. **Been 4 months. Are you even ALIVE?**
  32. **I’m done replacing your bad milk and taking care of your appartement. FUCK U**
  33. **Asshole, where are you?**
  34. **I’m done Francis, just go home.**
  35. **I missed you, asshole.**
  36. **Where are you, Francis?**
  37. **So, you’re quitting your jobs? And i just realize that.**
  38. **Your friends, asking about you. I told them you’re dead.**
  39. **Let’s end this Francis.**
  40. **I met Alan.**
  41. **I think, Im gonna go on a date with him this time.**
  42. **You know, the more you go the more I realize you wont ever comeback.**
  43. **You wont comeback, right? I wish you happy there.**
  44. **Your landlord contatcted me, he says you paid him a for a year, and wondering would you lease it or keep it by renewing the contract.**
  45. **Seriously, your landlord keep calling. You should called him back.**
  46. **I’m one big idiot. Goodbye Francis.**
  47. **You there? Right, you wont. I just want you to know, this is the last message. Its been 6 months, since you gone. I’m worried, and missed you. But you seems not care at all. I know, we’re just buddy, but at least let me know you’re okay. But you wont. Anyway, I’m seeing Alan. He’s a great guy, I hope you’re happy. I love you. Always. Marie.**



His eyes went wide on her last messages, it was a week ago.

**You there? Right, you wont. I just want you to know, this is the last message. Its been 6 months, since you gone. I’m worried, and missed you. But you seems not care at all. I know, we’re just buddy, but at least let me kn **ow you’re okay. But you wont. Anyway, I’m seeing Alan. He’s a great guy, I hope you’re happy. I love you. Always. Marie.****

 

****   


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Dammit!"

He exhale the smoke. Feeling hopeless. He know it’s his fault for leaving her without any notice and ignoring her calls and messages. He thought he was leaving her for sure, she deserved someone better than him. But now, that he know, she’s with Alan, he feels like hells, he feels miserable and angry and jealous. He love her, and fuck the labels, he dont care whether he’s gay, or bi. He just love her. No other women than her. He pick his bag and get into his flights.


End file.
